third day from mission trip: lost?!?

this is the third day since i am back from mission trip. all seems to be back to 'normal'. but i think it is far from so...

hmmm, there is sense of strange lostness in me... i dunno... if it was the change in the culture and i am still adjusting to that? or....

i have finally finished the book-- Paul, the Spirit and the People of God by Gordon Fee.

realised that he is a pentocostal writer! haha! the beginning of the book was rather dull and though the book was only 200 odd pages long, i dun seem to be able to finish fast. before today, u was at the 130 odd mark, and i spent my morning today just plain reading. i finished the book by noon today. hmm, quite a surprise for me actually.. but i thank God hehe =)

the Spirit of God is the one that will point us to Jesus Christ. and from the coming of Jesus, he paved a way, a higher way-- the New Covenant. in the NC, the Spirit became the 'effecting' power that God gave to us as a mean of seal for the eschotological future of the people of God who believes in Jesus Christ by faith.

personally, i feel that the author is right and i agree to that the church need to understand the work of the HS in the NC and not be just paying lip service to the presence of God, the HS. i felt that the general body of Christ need to really know Christ and not 'rejecting the power thereof'.

i am asking myself and God, why am i feeling how i am feeling now... lost... some of the things that i feel is missing... the power of God in the church and in my life... the enablement of the HS in my life to do the things i need to do. read that the infilling of the HS is from time to time and not as per some say that the HS is already full and need not be filled again. if so, why did paul say, 'be filled with the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature'?

i am now picking up another book i bought from second hand book stores-- The Power of Pentocost or the Fullness of the Holy Spirit by John R. Rice. this book was witten in 1946. the first chapter tallked about the drought of the HS in the US. and i felt that i am like in similar situation... i need the fullness of the HS to fill me...

also, yesterday, i bought another leadership book-- Being a person of influence by John C. Maxwell and Jim Dorhan. also, i attended a meeting in office where i was given another leadership material-- by Phil Pringle. it talked about revelation, revelation of who God is and who we are... this part spoke to me, i think i need a revelation of God and myself especially during my time of transition from studies to possible working environment.

talking about it... i have not much motivation to work...

results of the final sem in NUS mech engineering

Name : NG CHOON PO,SAMUELMatric No : U015331M
2004/2005 Sem 2 Examination for MECHANICAL ENGINEERING 4
Module Code
Module Title
HR2002
UNDERSTAND'G HR IN THE NEW ECONOMY B+

ME4101A
BACHELOR OF ENGINEERING DISSERTATION B+

ME4262
AUTOMATION IN MANUFACTURING D+

ME4284
MICRO SENSORS & MICRO ACTUATORS A-


CAP: 3.31
Examination Status: 3RD CLASS HONOURS


sigh... i wonder... i wonder... i really wonder... haha... why my results are as such? i felt as i search my conscience that i have put in my best but just dun seem to be able to get the results that i wished to have... it is a struggle... i know from my knowledge that all these things are non-essential to eternity... (mayb i really need to see it as it really is!!) hahah... sigh... LORD Father, i thank You, i thank You that you have all things in control. nothing goes out of your hands and knowledge. and who can match your infinite wisdom?

LORD God, help me to be still and know that You are God, You will be exalted in all the earth! By Your own great powers You will be honored and glorified! You have no need for us actually! and my grades as i surrender to You, will not make you any greater or smaller... it is my heart that i need to deal with... and as i look into Your majesty, and Your infinite Glory and honor, gladness just feels my heart! the grades that i am striving for is of no importance to you... actually... they do not really make you sad or super happy... for you are all sufficient... yet to the souls of man... you are compassionate! Oh LORD! My God! Your majesty is too great for me! too wonderful for comprehension! i thank You HS for giving me revelation of God-- that God, the Creator of heaven and earth, DO not need my results to please Him! if i have done my best and trusted God, God, My LORD, You will not despise the work of my hands. for indeed, they are not going to change anything about you and also Your love for me!

Thank You LORD!